we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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