Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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