Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
