I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
