The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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