yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So much rum. So many feels.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
