I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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