You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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