Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
