what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
