Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
bring money and cleavage
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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