with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
