i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize