Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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