I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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