Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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