There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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