Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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