So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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