I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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