He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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