omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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