talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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