Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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