Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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