you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
