i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
