Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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