im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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