4 words: hood of his car
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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