Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
