I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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