WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
