I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he shaved USA in his pubs
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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