Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
