the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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