she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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