i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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