Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
