Got a toothbrush?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
