I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
