was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
