How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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