you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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