I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
