i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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