I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
