Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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