found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
