I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
