white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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