Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
