He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
