he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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