2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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