Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize