Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
