How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
