so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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