just come out here and I will go home with you...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
