He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
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"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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